September 28, 2020

Do you want to feel BETTER or do you want to FEEL better

​Do you want to feel better or do you want to feel better?

The difference here is important.

We are told by society to feel better. To feel positive and happy all the goddamn time. No room for pesky things likes sadness, or anxiety, or loss.

We are bombarded with images and messages which tell us not to have messyemotions. And if you must have them, please don’t actually talk about them.

There is an alternative.

You can learn to feel better. To become more skilled at opening up to those emotions you don’t want. You don’t have to like them or want them, but you can make room for them. Just like the sky can make room for theweather. Sometimes there’s a few really rough storms. But they can’t ever harm the sky.

Emotions can’t harm you, either. They are a set of physiological responses in your body. What harms you is trying to get rid of them.

And what happens when you make room for these difficult emotions? You aren’t wasting your precious time and energy fighting with how you feel. You aren’t engaging in self-sabotaging behaviours because you can’t cope with your emotions. You can make room for anything and choose your response to it.

Wild, right?

But you can also open up to those emotions that you do want. Joy, love, happiness. Don’t fight them either. Learn to feel the full spectrum of emotions. When you start doing this, you’ll notice that life becomes richer and more meaningful.

So what will it be? Are you going to feel better or are you going to feel better?